So with a week to go until my holiday, I'm doing a slow burn panic. I'm in denial. I've stopped exercising and eating it seems (that has more to do with spending so much money on books I don't need and holiday clothes that I probably can't fit in to by now) and all with a week to go. I'm under no illusion. I know there will be beaches and sunshine and the option to wear jeans and a baggy covering up top will be all but eliminated by touch down and yet what am I doing about it? The dvd that I was so dedicated to, is starting to gather a fine layer of dust now. The chocolate bars however are also doing the same. I have not fancied them. Or much other food really. I must have gone into starvation mode. I mean when I look in the mirror I can see that I really would be OK if I couldn't find food for a while, I have plenty of reserves hanging off every single flaccid muscle.
But this of course is not the healthy happy attitude. Because I'm a right moody cow in all honesty. I'm snappy and stressed and tired and confused. And that is not the way to start a holiday!!
So I need to sort it out. I need to get near a pool as that is where I feel at my happiest to be honest, around the soothing feeling of water. Irony being that to go to a pool I need to be wearing a swimsuit, the one item of clothing that cannot disguise how I look!
I'm not ruling out any bad food though, I just find that I've not really picked it up. I had the odd thing, like a doughnut and a MacDonalds in the last month, strict no-no foods in the run up to a holiday, but I've stripped back carbs quite a bit, just to ease off the sluggish feelings I've had with such a wheat high diet and it's really helped. I've only eaten when I'm hungry, I've not abided by "3 meals a day".
So maybe I have got it under control on the eating side (although maybe it does sound all a bit all over the place) but the exercising, well no that is not too good in all honesty!
Anyway no doubt I will continue procrastinating about this, so I may as well spend the last of my money on more clever cover up clothes and hope to drop a few more pounds before next week. Eek!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It's My Choice and I will Cry If I Want To
So after some decent amount of super analysing self and like minded people, my friend and I came up with the simplest of theories. If you have the choice to do things, then you do not feel the pressure.
My natural instinct, when a demand is forced upon me is to go...hmmm...no I don't think I will be doing that now. I need the freedom to choose and funnily enough, as soon as I have that control, suddenly I feel empowered and actually find myself behaving on the diet and exercise front.
My diet is generally up and down, sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm bad but mostly I'm just even. I try to make it balanced but life does sometimes get in the way. But now that I have taken myself off of a diet and am making the choice about what I eat, now I feel great and out of spite to the bad food, I don't want them as much. The 3pm chocolate craving has gone because as soon as I stopped saying to myself "you really can't eat chocolate" i naturally craved it and decided I would have it to spite....well to spite myself it seemed. But I haven't thought about it or had it for about a couple of weeks now, which is for me, a huge achievement.
And for my exercising, I have set up a commitment of 3x a week and mostly I've stuck to that with the odd day of not being able to- of not having made time for it. Yet on the days inbetween my workouts, I'm actually missing doing something active. I never thought this could happen to me.
Another thing I realised is, that this whole you must have three square meals a day and 2 snacks inbetween - who says? These are my rules! If I want to skip breakfast and feel sluggish, dammit I will! If i decide I don't need dinner because I ate enough today, then that's what I will do. I wont be dictacted to, people!
So with 10lbs now lost from my body and the realisation that at 29, unless I do start exercising more, that I will actually be left with a whole lot of loose skin, I feel I'm on a really steady path here.
I think I found the key to my success and who knew that the answer lay in something that was so simple. It makes WeightWatchers, Slimming World, Dukan Diet, all of them just meaningless to me now as I don't want to pay towards lectures and weigh-ins (I'll take the cookbooks though, given my love of food).
Time to love yourself and make the best of yourself - after all it's you who looks at you in the mirror, you need to start liking what you see.
My natural instinct, when a demand is forced upon me is to go...hmmm...no I don't think I will be doing that now. I need the freedom to choose and funnily enough, as soon as I have that control, suddenly I feel empowered and actually find myself behaving on the diet and exercise front.
My diet is generally up and down, sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm bad but mostly I'm just even. I try to make it balanced but life does sometimes get in the way. But now that I have taken myself off of a diet and am making the choice about what I eat, now I feel great and out of spite to the bad food, I don't want them as much. The 3pm chocolate craving has gone because as soon as I stopped saying to myself "you really can't eat chocolate" i naturally craved it and decided I would have it to spite....well to spite myself it seemed. But I haven't thought about it or had it for about a couple of weeks now, which is for me, a huge achievement.
And for my exercising, I have set up a commitment of 3x a week and mostly I've stuck to that with the odd day of not being able to- of not having made time for it. Yet on the days inbetween my workouts, I'm actually missing doing something active. I never thought this could happen to me.
Another thing I realised is, that this whole you must have three square meals a day and 2 snacks inbetween - who says? These are my rules! If I want to skip breakfast and feel sluggish, dammit I will! If i decide I don't need dinner because I ate enough today, then that's what I will do. I wont be dictacted to, people!
So with 10lbs now lost from my body and the realisation that at 29, unless I do start exercising more, that I will actually be left with a whole lot of loose skin, I feel I'm on a really steady path here.
I think I found the key to my success and who knew that the answer lay in something that was so simple. It makes WeightWatchers, Slimming World, Dukan Diet, all of them just meaningless to me now as I don't want to pay towards lectures and weigh-ins (I'll take the cookbooks though, given my love of food).
Time to love yourself and make the best of yourself - after all it's you who looks at you in the mirror, you need to start liking what you see.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
So there was this cake and started talking to me, telling me to eat it...
I've sort of come to the conclusion that I might be a bit of a blagger. Not a blagger blogger, just a blagger.
In my mind I can pretty much justify anything when it comes to "bad" foods. I'll happily steal another's excuse if it helps me too.
Golden oldies such as "eating well after eating badly, simply cancels it out" / "I've had a really hard day, it's better to take it out on cake than alcohol or drugs" etc are just really really bad ways of telling your angel self that as your devil self you've come a cropper in the old eaterie section of life.
But I've been psychoanalysing myself lately (not saying I'm qualified or that I'm in a position to take bookings at the moment, but to be honest, when you see the price of a psychologist, you realise you DO know more about yourself than you're willing to let a pyschologist take their time dragging out of you at the cost of your mortgage, car and soul) and the results have been well predictable but interesting. Interesting because what I needed to do was find a solution to these situations.
I could be deemed an emotional eater at times. If I feel lonely, or stressed or pre-menstrual or just under the weather I fall into the category of "oh she EATS". But if I am happy and relaxed or even bored, then I become "sorry, food? No i've forgotten, remind me of it again please?"
Some people really cannot stomach food on a stressed time of life but I find myself reaching to the cupboard eating whatever is in reach. I'm in the zone and I can't seem to stop and I'll just eat until I snap out of it, which can be at any or no given time. What's interesting is that a lot of the self help books and online tools available with weight loss and diet plans often tell you to "find a way to deal with your emotions without using food" but the question is HOW do you get to the point? If you are so in the zone, how can you suddenly stop yourself and go "woah woah woah WHAT are you doing? Leave that kilo of cheese be please, Louise..." To be able to have the strength to stop yourself from fridging out, then you surely would have the strength to not head towards the fridge in the first place?
When it comes to boredom, I find then that I wont eat. I like to get out and live life (of course I succumb to slobbery at times, you need to) and if I am bored, then I know something is wrong within and I need to sort THAT out. I am very comfortable sitting on my bed without sounds, in order to work through what I'm feeling, writing it down and throwing it away or playing out calmer scenes in my head, allowing myself to daydream and think and not to let that overwhelm me. I don't feel I need to blot out silence all the time.
So it needs to be more of an extreme situation that causes me to go nuts. Sometimes I can be having a bit of a binge and simultaneaously thinking "well what the devil is going on here...you seem to be eating, so there must be a cause, I'm sensing it's not good but I can't tell right now what it is". So it's going to have been triggered by SOMETHING but it might not instantly come to me what happened in my day to have made me reacted that way.
I do wonder if getting this grip on food control is to do with the unlimited access we have to food now. We are all independent when we are earning our own money. We are no longer under the watchful parental eye. I remember the sheer joy at moving out from my mum's house at age 17 and stocking my kitchen with everything I could possibly want just because I could. My younger sister visited and her very first impression of the house was "wow you've got so much cool food". We are not in an era where food needs to be rationed, where food is all natural and unprocessed and where there are restrictions on what you can find and buy.
Now we can just literally trawl the out of control size supermarket aisles racking up a small fortune as we go, picking up this and that and offer after offer of things we do not actually need. It takes courage to step out of the supermarket and go to a local grocer or market when you get used to having anything you like at any size and a relatively cheap price.
I firmly believe in stocking your cupboards full of healthy and nutritious foods; I think this minimises temptation because by filling up on foods that you already have you are less likely to start scratching around for biscuits and sweet things. However, therein lies another problem. If you don't have the time to go shopping very often or you find that while the vegetables have sat nicely in your fridge and now have gone off because you didnt make time to eat them, then you have wasted that food, now there is nothing to eat and your old friend Pizza Hut becomes a saviour at the end of the phone.
I try to meal plan as mentioned before- this actually goes against the grain for me. I like to improvise, be spontaneous and eat what I fancy on the day. So planning meals, only buying the food I would need for those meals does restrict me so much. But it saves me money and it ensures that I'm getting a good balanced meal each time and using up everything I've bought. That made me realise that what I want and what I need are different and now I'm having to tell myself "No you can't have this". I never thought I could because you always want what you always want and you don't like the word no. So you are your best friend, never denying you what you want.
Bloody hell, I sound like a grown up who's inner child is fighting the clutches of the "I've had it with you" mother...
I think Halle Berry's photo on the front of the fridge helps me sometimes - I think she can do it, she can look great, I can do it!. Although sometimes I just go "oh F off Halle, you unrealistic healthy witch, you're messing up my life strutting in your bikini, you think you're god's gift, well love you're not, no I am god's gift, me and my ice cream and my chocolate brownie and clogged arteries"
So I need to trick myself with constant new ideas. I wish I was the kind to think normally and like a thin person, but it would appear that is not me. So I embrace this side of myself indoors but I intend to spend some time tricking myself into eating and exercising with motivation. No-one will know the plethora of excuses I'm throwing at myself or the tantrums behind closed doors.
So now I am going to plan a week's worth of meals AND exercises at a time, based on what commitments I have that week. The one rule fits all weeks does not have a place on my sofa. Then at the end of that week I will take my pre-set reward or punishment accordingly and high five myself. I tried it last week and the reward was a haircut. This is something I'd wanted to get done so it was the perfect motivation for it. It was hard work but I enjoyed thinking about the reward and fearing for the punishment (no hair straightners for 2 weeks).
I'm not saying I can keep to all of this but I am evolving the routine to keep the only piece of variety in it that I can. Controlled variety that's what I'll call it.
In my mind I can pretty much justify anything when it comes to "bad" foods. I'll happily steal another's excuse if it helps me too.
Golden oldies such as "eating well after eating badly, simply cancels it out" / "I've had a really hard day, it's better to take it out on cake than alcohol or drugs" etc are just really really bad ways of telling your angel self that as your devil self you've come a cropper in the old eaterie section of life.
But I've been psychoanalysing myself lately (not saying I'm qualified or that I'm in a position to take bookings at the moment, but to be honest, when you see the price of a psychologist, you realise you DO know more about yourself than you're willing to let a pyschologist take their time dragging out of you at the cost of your mortgage, car and soul) and the results have been well predictable but interesting. Interesting because what I needed to do was find a solution to these situations.
I could be deemed an emotional eater at times. If I feel lonely, or stressed or pre-menstrual or just under the weather I fall into the category of "oh she EATS". But if I am happy and relaxed or even bored, then I become "sorry, food? No i've forgotten, remind me of it again please?"
Some people really cannot stomach food on a stressed time of life but I find myself reaching to the cupboard eating whatever is in reach. I'm in the zone and I can't seem to stop and I'll just eat until I snap out of it, which can be at any or no given time. What's interesting is that a lot of the self help books and online tools available with weight loss and diet plans often tell you to "find a way to deal with your emotions without using food" but the question is HOW do you get to the point? If you are so in the zone, how can you suddenly stop yourself and go "woah woah woah WHAT are you doing? Leave that kilo of cheese be please, Louise..." To be able to have the strength to stop yourself from fridging out, then you surely would have the strength to not head towards the fridge in the first place?
When it comes to boredom, I find then that I wont eat. I like to get out and live life (of course I succumb to slobbery at times, you need to) and if I am bored, then I know something is wrong within and I need to sort THAT out. I am very comfortable sitting on my bed without sounds, in order to work through what I'm feeling, writing it down and throwing it away or playing out calmer scenes in my head, allowing myself to daydream and think and not to let that overwhelm me. I don't feel I need to blot out silence all the time.
So it needs to be more of an extreme situation that causes me to go nuts. Sometimes I can be having a bit of a binge and simultaneaously thinking "well what the devil is going on here...you seem to be eating, so there must be a cause, I'm sensing it's not good but I can't tell right now what it is". So it's going to have been triggered by SOMETHING but it might not instantly come to me what happened in my day to have made me reacted that way.
I do wonder if getting this grip on food control is to do with the unlimited access we have to food now. We are all independent when we are earning our own money. We are no longer under the watchful parental eye. I remember the sheer joy at moving out from my mum's house at age 17 and stocking my kitchen with everything I could possibly want just because I could. My younger sister visited and her very first impression of the house was "wow you've got so much cool food". We are not in an era where food needs to be rationed, where food is all natural and unprocessed and where there are restrictions on what you can find and buy.
Now we can just literally trawl the out of control size supermarket aisles racking up a small fortune as we go, picking up this and that and offer after offer of things we do not actually need. It takes courage to step out of the supermarket and go to a local grocer or market when you get used to having anything you like at any size and a relatively cheap price.
I firmly believe in stocking your cupboards full of healthy and nutritious foods; I think this minimises temptation because by filling up on foods that you already have you are less likely to start scratching around for biscuits and sweet things. However, therein lies another problem. If you don't have the time to go shopping very often or you find that while the vegetables have sat nicely in your fridge and now have gone off because you didnt make time to eat them, then you have wasted that food, now there is nothing to eat and your old friend Pizza Hut becomes a saviour at the end of the phone.
I try to meal plan as mentioned before- this actually goes against the grain for me. I like to improvise, be spontaneous and eat what I fancy on the day. So planning meals, only buying the food I would need for those meals does restrict me so much. But it saves me money and it ensures that I'm getting a good balanced meal each time and using up everything I've bought. That made me realise that what I want and what I need are different and now I'm having to tell myself "No you can't have this". I never thought I could because you always want what you always want and you don't like the word no. So you are your best friend, never denying you what you want.
Bloody hell, I sound like a grown up who's inner child is fighting the clutches of the "I've had it with you" mother...
I think Halle Berry's photo on the front of the fridge helps me sometimes - I think she can do it, she can look great, I can do it!. Although sometimes I just go "oh F off Halle, you unrealistic healthy witch, you're messing up my life strutting in your bikini, you think you're god's gift, well love you're not, no I am god's gift, me and my ice cream and my chocolate brownie and clogged arteries"
So I need to trick myself with constant new ideas. I wish I was the kind to think normally and like a thin person, but it would appear that is not me. So I embrace this side of myself indoors but I intend to spend some time tricking myself into eating and exercising with motivation. No-one will know the plethora of excuses I'm throwing at myself or the tantrums behind closed doors.
So now I am going to plan a week's worth of meals AND exercises at a time, based on what commitments I have that week. The one rule fits all weeks does not have a place on my sofa. Then at the end of that week I will take my pre-set reward or punishment accordingly and high five myself. I tried it last week and the reward was a haircut. This is something I'd wanted to get done so it was the perfect motivation for it. It was hard work but I enjoyed thinking about the reward and fearing for the punishment (no hair straightners for 2 weeks).
I'm not saying I can keep to all of this but I am evolving the routine to keep the only piece of variety in it that I can. Controlled variety that's what I'll call it.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Not Yet Spring, I need more time to lose weight please!
And so we are here again, the sunny days, daring us to remove layers and revert to flipflops after months of feet stuffed into socks situations. It's frightening, when you've been thinking last summer "right, this Winter, I'm going to work SO hard down the gym and then when next Spring comes, I'm going to introduce my new toned self to the world". Then winter comes and along with winter comes? Hot Chocolate, Stodgy heavy dinners and enough layers to cover up the bits you're hoping might magically have gone by next Spring with little input from yourself.
The Spring comes and it's panic stations all round. What the hell happened to the winter plan, why was I so lazy? Bikini? I can't wear one of THOSE? No, not a tankini, mankini or any other kini, it's all gone wrong, no no no, get me wetsuit and we'll say no more about it.
And then, now, the gyms and pools are full of close to tears women, working their theoretical nuts off in a bid to lose 3 stones in 2 days, ready for their holiday.
So they say that what you can notice a difference in your body if you work out 3 - 4 times a week, after 6 weeks. Yes you might notice a difference, but it's not going to be a dramatic, oh my god, all my clothes are too big now! type of difference, it might mean that your clothes are a little looser or you look a little trimmer in places, so for safe and noticeable differences, it's got to be sensible. Distressing, telling the truth news, so it is.
I'm with you if you're thinking that a vest top without a cardigan is a big thumbs down for you stomach, hips and arms. Or if shorts or even cropped jeans make you actually want to vom.
Make a plan and stick to it for 6 weeks. Take your measurements and go you know what, 6 weeks out of my life is NOTHING. Write down those evil thoughts and make a positivity card about why you want to lose weight (I got this from the Beck Diet Solution - so so effective) and then everytime you reach for that dessert or glass of wine, just sneak a peak at the little card and think again. Or if you do have those things, know you may need to work a lot harder next workout.
I've pinned mine to my wardrobe so everytime I go to get my clothes out I'm reminded whether I've done my work out or not. Week 1 I was like a model student. I completed my exercises and at the very end, I awarded myself with a haircut.
Then I had a holiday and as we all often find, once you've taken a break from exercising, you can lose it and be all "i'm FINE, i LIKE the way I look..." but deep down you know you need to get back to it. So week 3 and day 1, I'm thinking hmm, i could exercise now. An hour later, I could exercise now. If I don't just do it tonight, then what will happen is that the negativity for this week will start.
Procrastination.....be gone! :-)
The Spring comes and it's panic stations all round. What the hell happened to the winter plan, why was I so lazy? Bikini? I can't wear one of THOSE? No, not a tankini, mankini or any other kini, it's all gone wrong, no no no, get me wetsuit and we'll say no more about it.
And then, now, the gyms and pools are full of close to tears women, working their theoretical nuts off in a bid to lose 3 stones in 2 days, ready for their holiday.
So they say that what you can notice a difference in your body if you work out 3 - 4 times a week, after 6 weeks. Yes you might notice a difference, but it's not going to be a dramatic, oh my god, all my clothes are too big now! type of difference, it might mean that your clothes are a little looser or you look a little trimmer in places, so for safe and noticeable differences, it's got to be sensible. Distressing, telling the truth news, so it is.
I'm with you if you're thinking that a vest top without a cardigan is a big thumbs down for you stomach, hips and arms. Or if shorts or even cropped jeans make you actually want to vom.
Make a plan and stick to it for 6 weeks. Take your measurements and go you know what, 6 weeks out of my life is NOTHING. Write down those evil thoughts and make a positivity card about why you want to lose weight (I got this from the Beck Diet Solution - so so effective) and then everytime you reach for that dessert or glass of wine, just sneak a peak at the little card and think again. Or if you do have those things, know you may need to work a lot harder next workout.
I've pinned mine to my wardrobe so everytime I go to get my clothes out I'm reminded whether I've done my work out or not. Week 1 I was like a model student. I completed my exercises and at the very end, I awarded myself with a haircut.
Then I had a holiday and as we all often find, once you've taken a break from exercising, you can lose it and be all "i'm FINE, i LIKE the way I look..." but deep down you know you need to get back to it. So week 3 and day 1, I'm thinking hmm, i could exercise now. An hour later, I could exercise now. If I don't just do it tonight, then what will happen is that the negativity for this week will start.
Procrastination.....be gone! :-)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Ferrero Forever
I confess, I've just eaten ferrero rocher. :-( I realised that this started off as having one or two as a treat, then I was picking them up as I watched tv and then I received a text from someone, the content of which really annoyed me and made me dive in and scoff and agree that 8, as an even number was acceptable.
Which of course it is not.
I hate being reliant on food when it comes to emotional turmoil and distressing situations. But it happens and the feeling results in not one of satisfaction and winning, but of a bloated stomach, a stodgy feeling in my mouth and disappointment that I let it happen.
They say find a way to control your emotional / food urges, but it's hard when you're in the zone. I'm not keeping any more chocolate in my cupboards at home.
I did do one good thing; I opened a box of malteasers at my sisters house and I....LEFT...THEM...THERE...ON...PURPOSE. I'm so very proud of myself for this. It was not easy!
Which of course it is not.
I hate being reliant on food when it comes to emotional turmoil and distressing situations. But it happens and the feeling results in not one of satisfaction and winning, but of a bloated stomach, a stodgy feeling in my mouth and disappointment that I let it happen.
They say find a way to control your emotional / food urges, but it's hard when you're in the zone. I'm not keeping any more chocolate in my cupboards at home.
I did do one good thing; I opened a box of malteasers at my sisters house and I....LEFT...THEM...THERE...ON...PURPOSE. I'm so very proud of myself for this. It was not easy!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Ruled By Numbers
I don't know about anyone else but I have bought and subsequently thrown away god knows how many scales.
I know what I'm like, I obsess with scales. How much do I weigh and all the mental hell that comes with it. So after a few months of this behaviour I get so mad at myself that I throw them away. And then time rolls by and I'm wondering how much do I weigh and I know why I threw them away but there's suddenly a need to know and have these in the house.
However, during my last success with weightloss and not using scales, I realised that I really didnt need or want them. My doctor would check my weight every 6 months when I got my blood pressure taken and a review of the pill I'm on, so I could base my success around my tape measure results. Trust me that's the best thing. If you use clothes, great, but dont be defined by the size. We all know you can be a size 18 in one shop and 12 in another (obviously, by my rules that makes you a size 12) but more satisfaction comes from the tape measure. That isn't biased about muscle vs fat or weight, its pure inches coming off your body.
Love it!
I know what I'm like, I obsess with scales. How much do I weigh and all the mental hell that comes with it. So after a few months of this behaviour I get so mad at myself that I throw them away. And then time rolls by and I'm wondering how much do I weigh and I know why I threw them away but there's suddenly a need to know and have these in the house.
However, during my last success with weightloss and not using scales, I realised that I really didnt need or want them. My doctor would check my weight every 6 months when I got my blood pressure taken and a review of the pill I'm on, so I could base my success around my tape measure results. Trust me that's the best thing. If you use clothes, great, but dont be defined by the size. We all know you can be a size 18 in one shop and 12 in another (obviously, by my rules that makes you a size 12) but more satisfaction comes from the tape measure. That isn't biased about muscle vs fat or weight, its pure inches coming off your body.
Love it!
The Best Things In Life Are Free!
Forget there's no such thing as a free lunch, that's just a whole lot of negativity!
I believe in Fate (when it suits me to and life goes in my favour)
After being good girls at one of our early morning swim session's, Juliette spotted something amazing - a poster in the changing rooms, from a personal trainer saying they were looking for people to train FOR FREE while they built up to their level 3 qualification. You can teach from level 2 you see. Anyway I would have walked past it because really at 7am I am not really in the most alert frame of mind, but my eagle eyed side kick was on form!
Funny feeling came about though. When she told me about it, I felt nervous. What if this trainer was really strict and made me hate exercise when I'd just got to a point where I was enjoying it? What if they made me do things I didn't enjoy? What if I started to rebel against routine?
Anyway that decision was thankfully taken out of my hands because Juliette called and explained who we were to the personal trainer and what we've been doing and where we're hoping to get to. She was keen to take us on as a duo and we've been working with her eversince.
She is amazing. She does not come down hard on us like a ton of bricks but at the same time, she sets goals that are realistic even when we are surprised to think we can do them. She is so thoughful and often comes up with ways for us to better improve or tactics to try to help us. It's brilliant. I would pick a female trainer over a male anyday now and had you asked me that question before us meeting ours, I would have said a man, for no particular reason. But she really listens and picks up on things. This xmas she bought me a little pink diary with shoes on the front. Now as a technology person, who relies solely on my phone to keep my life in order, I really didnt know if I would use it. I use this diary as an example of how small things can make a big difference.
Using her other method of post it notes with motivational things written on them, I have placed one per week in this diary and will rotate them. I now write everything in there and the post it note is a good constant reminder of my thought of the week. I'm converted back to paper! n constantly thinking of shoes, yippee!
So I'm not perfect and sometimes I am having a chocolate bar or too much of this and that but it's all about training my mind. I've given myself too much freedom and now I am paying the price for this by being overweight. I'm doing a lot of talking and less doing and I am now changing this around by being more active and trying to make better food choices.
I think about the celebrities I see on tv or girls my age and then I look at people older than me and I think you know what, THIS is my prime time. I should be fit and healthy and carefree and happy and enjoying life not working off weight that I've allowed to creep on myself because I was not in control. Time to TAKE control.
I also got a copy of Paul McKenna's Easy Weightloss CD. I found it really effective before in my quest for weightloss but I just stopped listening to it. If it's your thing, I find it very relaxing. If not for any other reason, buy it! You can sort of switch off your mind and get into some relaxation while all this useful information seeps into your brain. I love that. I do remember things. One of them is to visualise yourself as the you that you want to look like (harder than you'd think actually) and then to open the door to your own home and look at the you who you want to be and imagine how you feel seeing you. Very powerful stuff. I dont listen to it every night but quite a few nights a week as it's not for long. I really rate it.
Anyway back to the trainer. She really motivates me. Really she is standing there watching me and telling me to go up a level or pushes me for an extra few minutes. These are things I simply wouldn't do alone. I would be like AAAHHH enough, give up! But someone telling you what to do and I just do it. Like a lemming, but a bloody keen one.
I've got a great workout plan going now and I train with her twice a week. Sadly I don't think I will be able to afford her twice a week when the freebie comes to an end. She has offered me a FAB rate til sept, when the plan we put together finishes (the deadline is me being a bridesmaid...i say whilst eating a donut :-( ) so I need to carefully consider. Because there is every chance of me going off the rails without her. However I like to think that really, I have earmarked Monday's and Thursday's as my work out days now and this has been in place for a while so hopefully I will just be able to get into a groove and keep it going. It surely wont be the same without her though. I need another payrise already!!
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